Friday, September 4, 2009

Kicking it...

So I've finally decided to stop smoking well I am giving it my best shot anyway. It has been 6 days now and I have had only 4 ciggarettes in that time frame...amazing huh? My resolve is faltering though and I can's going to get tougher before it gets easier. I know I am doing much better now then a week ago even with the few slips. I just wish I could get in some peace and quiet from my oh-so-wonderful house "guests" that never seem to shutup in the least. Junior's sister always feels the need to be saying something and it gets quite irritating when you are looking for a fwew minutes of peace with your thoughts. This week has been especially bad...with the smoking thing and I started the Twilight series. I am almost done the 4th and final book. I just want to curl up and escape to that world but her agonizing voice drags me back every night. The reading was helping me quit at first...I could get lost and not once think of a ciggarette and when I was willing to put the book down I was okay. But not when someone is constantly talking and going "HEY, did you hear me, I said..." I did you see me paying any attention...I'm reading here! DUH! Not everyone shares my enthusiasm for reading...OBVIOUSLY! Maybe it's just the edginess and being irritable talking here but I just don't know... Mckenna is great...rotten as ever but would you expect anything less from a budding toddler? I see myself in her in so many ways and not so much her father...personality wise. She is all me with the exception of stubbornness and pushiness. She got that all from him! Just like her daddy she has to have something when she wants it but I am hoping to snap her out of that one. It bothers me that her father is can definately tell he was the 'baby' of his family. Wow...I'd better stop...the ranting right now may never stop...but I know it's better to get it all out somehow....before I just spontaneously combust on the spot...doesn't sound half bad right now...

1 comment:

  1. Jessie - I'm so proud of you! I know smoking is a terrible habbit to kick, but you can do it! I know what you mean about reading - like - do I stand in front of you and talk while you are watching a movie? ? ? Some people just don't get it. Hang in there - soon you will have control over the smokes AND the people in your life ! ! Enjoy your books (if you can concentrate long enough).
    Love ya gal,
    Aunt Crickett
    PS - you can blow off steam any time you want :)