Kicking it...

So I've finally decided to stop smoking well I am giving it my best shot anyway. It has been 6 days now and I have had only 4 ciggarettes in that time frame...amazing huh? My resolve is faltering though and I can tell...it's going to get tougher before it gets easier. I know I am doing much better now then a week ago even with the few slips. I just wish I could get in some peace and quiet from my oh-so-wonderful house "guests" that never seem to shutup in the least. Junior's sister always feels the need to be saying something and it gets quite irritating when you are looking for a fwew minutes of peace with your thoughts. This week has been especially bad...with the smoking thing and I started the Twilight series. I am almost done the 4th and final book. I just want to curl up and escape to that world but her agonizing voice drags me back every night. The reading was helping me quit at first...I could get lost and not once think of a ciggarette and when I was willing to put the book down I was okay. But not when someone is constantly talking and going "HEY, did you hear me, I said..." Umm...no I did NOT...do you see me paying any attention...I'm reading here! DUH! Not everyone shares my enthusiasm for reading...OBVIOUSLY! Maybe it's just the edginess and being irritable talking here but I just don't know... Mckenna is great...rotten as ever but would you expect anything less from a budding toddler? I see myself in her in so many ways and not so much her father...personality wise. She is all me with the exception of stubbornness and pushiness. She got that all from him! Just like her daddy she has to have something when she wants it but I am hoping to snap her out of that one. It bothers me that her father is that...you can definately tell he was the 'baby' of his family. Wow...I'd better stop...the ranting right now may never stop...but I know it's better to get it all out somehow....before I just spontaneously combust on the spot...doesn't sound half bad right now...

Just throwing in a little update here on what is going on. Mckenna is officially walking and really working on running but her balance isn't quite there yet. So needless to say I am NEVER alone...she follows me everywhere and if she had it her way she'd hold my finger at all times and have me follow her. Sometimes I do just to see where she will take me and usually it is to her toys where she points to the floor than me implying she wants me to sit and play. I can hardly believe my baby is 1 now and that she has been that way for almost a month already! I thank everyone who came to her party and helped make it a success! My step-sister Brittany had her little boy, Damontae, on July 28! He was 3 lbs. 3 oz. and a whopping 15 3/4 inches long! Such a tiny little guy being he was 6 weeks early. He is doing extremely well and there is talk of him coming home within the next day or two. He is almost 4 lbs. now and growing like a weed. He only needs to gaing 1 more ounce to meat his 'goal' weight to be considered big enough to go home. I saw him tonight and held him for the first time and it was really amazing to hold such a tiny human being! I see a change in Brittany as well and hopefully she keeps it up! She is doing great and being strong in the face of temptation! Well that's about all for now...

A Year Has Gone...

Where do I even begin? I don't think I can even put into words the emotions I am feeling at all. All at once I am so happy and yet I am overwhelemed with sadness that my baby is turning 1 and isn't really a baby anymore! The past year has been the best ever and I have the most wonderful memories. I can't wait to make more with her but I can't help but miss when she tiny and new and loved to be cuddled and held. Now she's miss independent with her own agenda and if I don't like it then oh well. HaHa! She cuddled with me Tuesday night for the first time in a long time. I'm talking a WHOPPING 30 to 40 minutes! She snuggled and watched the news with me...I almost cryed as I realize time goes by too fast and those are the moments we need to slow and catch while it is still possible to do so! I have found my new all time favorite song lately...'In My Daughter's Eyes' by Martina McBride. It just about sums up how a mother feels for her daughter and sees life with her. I know I wouldn't trade anything from the past year for anything in the world. Even the pain...yes the pain...well maybe a little of that but that's about it. I know I am blessed with a wonderful and beautiful daughter who is truly extroidonary! I love watching her discover new things...sitting alone, crawling, walking, talking, etc. Now if only her teeth would come through...4 are trying to come through and 1 just has poked through...talk about a miserable child...not too bad though but pretty whiney sometimes! But somehow I love her still...her birthday is Saturday and quite frankly I am dreading the day when my baby isn't a baby anymore and is officially a "toddler." Haha! But she will ALWAYS by MY baby no matter how old she gets!

Hmm...so it was a pretty quiet weekend with it being just me and Mckenna at home for the most part. Which was a-okay with me! Kate had her little Chase on Friday evening, he was 8 lbs 15 oz and 22.5 in long. I was quite disappointed though that I was unable to go see them because of this stinking cold! I hope I am 100% by this weekend and can go see them! He's a handsome little boy from what I could see from the picture and looks like his mommy! I have ultimately decided to treat myself to a girl's night out with Jamie on the 14th. We are going to the Craig Morgan concert at The House. It should be fun but you never know with her! We will see where that goes. Mike's benefit dinner was a huge success for him! He had 550 tickets sold before Saturday and I don't know how many walkins the night of. Junior and I spoke with a gentlemen about a bible study group down the road from us but I am a little skittish...it sounded a little 'cultish' to me. Maybe it is just me though...I think we are going to try it out this coming Sunday and see how it goes. We will see and only time will tell. Hopefully we can get where we need to be with the Lord...where we were when we got married....ahhh....I don't know. Mckenna is not walking that I know of (ha) just climbing the tallest peaks and trying to give me a heart attack along the way!

Nervous wreck...

Mckenna is a climber...it is confirmed! She climbs everything in sight and is actually quite good at it! But it makes me so nervous! She has mastered climbing Izac's 'sports climber' he got for his birthday. She is climbing into chairs and standing on them and climbing buckets and everything else she can get to! Still waiting to meet Chase...he is being slow and giving his momma a run for her money already! Kate was induced yesterday and as of 11:00 this morning she was only 3 cm dialated! Hopefully she has better luck than I did in the labor department! Junior is away for the weekend at the races! Oh what fun...I think I need a weekend away too! Haha..lets see that happen! He will be home tomorrow night though for Mike's benefit dinner! I am actually looking forward to that...the highlight of my weekend so far!

Wow...

So many babies coming all around me! My best friend since fourth grade is being induced tomorrow morning...she is expecting a baby boy...little Chase Micheal! He is estimated to be 9 lbs 3 oz or more...all I could say was 'eww'! HaHa! My step sister is due September 5 (my stepdaughter's birthday...) with a little boy and my friend Jessi is due October 11 with a little girl! It's amazing...I wish my little darling was a baby again...ironically I miss those days! I miss when she would let me hold her and cuddle her whenever I wanted! Not anymore...she's little miss independent these days! 10 1/2 months and counting! I can't believe her first birthday is right around the corner! But I know that she has many more surprises up her sleeve for me and I can't wait to see them! She truly is wonderful!

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